Eat a fat one, you old coot

NEW ORLEANS – A white Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

“I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”

Seriously, fuck you. And I don’t mean some nice, ha-ha “fuck you.” I mean FUCK you. “They use my bathroom.” Jesus. My buddy Chris suggested he be doled out some kind of justice with his own gavel, and I’m ok with that, so long as it kills him.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Facebook takes words out of context to show us how happy we are

It’s not easy, understanding happiness. Human beings are busy. We have jobs and families and sports pages and cat blogs. We don’t have much time for bullshit navel-gazing or quests for self-understanding. Unless you’re in rehab or something, the only people who have time to consider “what it all means” are students and writers, and no one on the planet cares what they think. The amount of time many of us have to consider whether or not we’re actually happy is minimal at best. And as a result, most of us have a very difficult time understanding whether we’re actually happy, and if we are happy, what it is that makes it so. Research new and old suggests it certainly isn’t money that makes us happy. Relationships can make us happy, but they can also make us totally miserable, so that’s a moot point. Success is relative, as is the traditional philosophical gauge of “doing good.” I mean, what the fuck does “doing good” even mean anymore? Not robbing your buddy in a lopsided fantasy football trade? Ignoring the impulse to watch whatever random, awkward sex is going on on The Real World?

I think it’s even truer now, during a time in human history where we feel compelled to share every mundane, trivial fucking detail of our lives with the world for no other apparent reason other than hearing ourselves fart into the internet’s suffocating darkness. It’s fine that we all do this, I guess – that we are all compelled to tell strangers whenever we take a shit. But I think that to some extent, facebook and twitter have become our acting classes, the places where we practice putting on the facades that have become our online persona. It’s not necessarily our faults we do this, I don’t think. People don’t want to read depressing posts, or, for that matter, overly personal posts. It’s like watching your friends’ marital spat across the dinner table. It’s uncomfortable and embarrassing. Plus, we all want to put our best face forward, especially to distant friends or, in the case of twitter, total strangers. It’s instinctual. So we put on a sometimes-falsely happy face.

But in the process, I think we cripple our already-failing ability to discern whether we’re actually happy. Especially for dedicated facebookers and tweeters, true feelings, and an understanding of those feelings, can get lost in the constant facade. Maybe it’s a moot point. Maybe if telling yourself that you’re happy enough actually makes you happy, the means justifies the ends and it doesn’t matter how well we actually understand our own level of happiness. But maybe our propensity for masking feelings through constant public communication takes away from the reflection necessary to improve, to grow, or to identify whether and why we are happy, miserable, or otherwise.

More on this later. But in the meantime, above is a graph that was the result of a facebook data analysis project that, to some extent, gives facebook users a glimpse at their collective levels of happiness. My only concern is that their method for gathering the datum – pulling tagged words from status updates and then graphing the number of positive words, the number of negative words and the aggregate – takes things out of context and applies feelings to posts that might not actually convey them as such. But, hey, whatever, it’s at least a step toward understanding what our online lives say about our living, waking lives. The interesting question is, of course, whether a clear division still exists between the two.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Kansas at dawn

2 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

The most insane painting ever

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

A random hat portrait

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

A brief reaction to the shitty Telegraph paying £100k for a news story

The Daily Telegraph paid £110,000 for the files containing full details of MPs’ expenses, the paper’s assistant editor, Andrew Pierce, revealed today.

He described the controversial payment – which yielded one of the biggest newspaper scoops in recent times and delivered the Telegraph a healthy sales increase – as “money well spent in the public interest”.

“We paid £110,000 to the source,” Pierce told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme this morning.

“And let me just say, so far the taxpayer has been reimbursed by MPs £500,000, and there will be more.

One hundred thousand quid seems like a shitload of cash to pay for a story. In the US that would probably never fly – US newspapers would rather hash out FOIA battles in court than just pay off some dude who has access to the documents they’re looking for.

But the ultimate benefit to taxpayers is a compelling argument. Like, if a paid-for story is likely to generate two or three times that much in taxpayer refunds, the payment is ethical. It’s interesting. Still, there was no way for the Torygraph to ensure MPs would have paid back any public money after the story broke. They could have just resigned, or said “fuck off”, or whatever – but then is the argument for paying for a story less compelling?

And moreover, why couldn’t the newspaper just file a records request for this shit, instead of having to pay off some dude? I mean, what’s more public than the way elected officials spend public money? That’s like the first fucking thing that should be made public. So why don’t British sunshine laws work? Is this because of the fucking QUEEN?

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The soundtrack to an escape from an island

where all the white airplanes at?Music, huh? It’s great. What music basically says to people is: Listen to me. Turn me up louder. Or turn me down, if you’re supposed to listen to me quietly, like maybe because I’m sexy music? Anyway, the point is: LISTEN. Well, that’s what I’ve been doing for the past three months or so, listening to a (sometimes new!) song everyday that, I hoped, was some reflection on what kind of awful hell/fantastic experience it is to live in London. It worked sometimes. Mainly it failed. But whatever. As it turns out, 10 of those songs were about the act of leaving a place. Like, you know, escape! Escape from someplace, as if you were shipwrecked there! HEY I HAVE A BLOG ABOUT THAT. Fuck yeah. Bring on the big “S&S is outta here, losers” leaving song list! Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized